In my experience, the dating world as a transgender male has become more of a science than anything.
Before my transition, the task of dating was exponentially more simple than it is now. There was no need to "address the elephant in the room".
Whether it was dating online or in-person. It was so simple.
When I started my transition, I came to terms with the fact that there was a good chance that I was going to be forever alone. It's not that I didn't think anyone would find me attractive, but I thought that they wouldn't truly understand me as a person.
i'm not an experiment.
"Your transition is so interesting, I just want to pick your brain". "You're really attractive, but I want to date a real man". These are things that have been said to me by individuals I was interested in. Another time, I met a lady friend on Tinder. Things seemed to be going really well, then she actually read my profile. The very first line reads "Very proud transman". Once she read it, she didn't speak to me for three days. We spoke about it later when she came around to the idea, and she had said that it caught her off guard. She wasn't opposed to the idea, but it was new. We later stopped talking due to reasons not quite related to my transition.
That was tough for me because I need someone who understands what it means to be transgender. I don't want someone who sees me as an experiment or someone who is attracted to my looks, alone.
I'm a real human being.
I've been single for just about 2 years now, and it's really opened my eyes to what I can give myself and what I need from someone else. So far, I've not found anyone who is deserving of me investing my time and energy into a relationship. Do I want to date anyone? Absolutely. Am I ready to date? I'd say so. I simply haven't found anyone who is on the same page as I am, and that is so very important to understand when going into a new relationship.
What I'm getting at is this; know what you can offer yourself, and know what you need from someone else. Do not ever give up a part of yourself to settle into a relationship that is not right for you. Be with someone who builds you up and makes you feel amazing. Be with someone who doesn't make you feel like something is wrong with you or that you're some sort of weird experiment. Be with someone who gets you.
YOU CAN CALL ME DANISH
Writing about my life and experiences as a white, transgender, queer male.