Coming out as a lesbian woman was a pretty tough thing for me to do. As I went on to live my life, I realized that there were still pieces missing from my puzzle of happiness that I needed to find. The following is my experience coming out as a transgender male identifying as straight.
The interesting thing about when I came out as a transgender male is that I had little to no negative feedback from those I was close to/those who knew me at the time.
You see what had happened was...
Just before I started my transition I was in a relationship. Being in a relationship during the first stages of your transition is a tricky thing. It takes a lot of focus and support. I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend at the time that was accepting of me coming out to her. When I came out to her, she was the first person I had told that I was going to transition. she accepted it and started using male pronouns with me while we were at home. Soon after that, her mom started referring to me as her son-in-law (during this time I had proposed).
This was really important to me in helping me grow as a person. Being in love with someone who may potentially leave you for becoming your true self is a terrifying thought. Her and I eventually split due to other reasons, but for a short time after we split she was still supportive in any way that she could be.
Can I have your attention, please.
After that, I realized that I really needed to come out to everyone. I didn't want to repeat myself to every single person I needed to talk to, so I simply took to Facebook. This is what I said:
This is where I took control of my life. As soon as I had made that status on Facebook, I started the process of going to the therapist and seeing my doctor. Finally, almost two months after this post, I had my first shot.
I was convinced that I would never date again.
Now that I had this out of the way, the next thing that I realized was that I needed to re-conquer the dating world. When I identified as a lesbian I was confident, but not happy.
At this point, I was re-navigating the world. I had already knew that I was attracted to women, but now I was sort-of in this limbo where I had an attraction to these women who identified as lesbians and also these women who identified as straight. I started to let the labels get to me. I felt like women who identified as lesbians wouldn't be interested in me because I'm not a woman, but women who identified as straight wouldn't be interested in me because I wasn't a biological man. It was at this point that I really just decided to focus on myself.
Finally, a light bulb went off.
About a year and a half after I started hormones, I started realizing that there are so many beautiful humans in the world and I might actually be attracted to more than women.
Even though I had already gone through so much in regards to my self-discovery, this moment was really important for me. I found that I needed to be with someone who was like-minded. I discovered myself being attracted to other trans men and women who identified as queer. The term "queer" was intriguing to me, so I started to explore it.
I had no idea that there were so many beautiful people that lived under this umbrella term. I knew I belonged under the umbrella too.
I knew that I needed to come out as transgender because that's who I am. What I didn't expect was to now have this flood of feelings and emotions and realization of "holy shit, now that I'm even more comfortable with myself, I can now acknowledge these suppressed feelings I've held back for so long".
YOU CAN CALL ME DANISH
Writing about my life and experiences as a white, transgender, queer male.