You've come out as trans*
Congratulations on coming out, by the way. That shit ain't easy. What's also not easy is then trying to sort out your sexual identity.
sexual identity vs. Gender identity
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
One's innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.
External appearance of one's gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, haircut or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.
The process by which some people strive to more closely align their internal knowledge of gender with its outward appearance. Some people socially transition, whereby they might begin dressing, using names and pronouns and/or be socially recognized as another gender. Others undergo physical transitions in which they modify their bodies through medical interventions.
An inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people.
Clinically significant distress caused when a person's assigned birth gender is not the same as the one with which they identify. According to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the term – which replaces Gender Identity Disorder – "is intended to better characterize the experiences of affected children, adolescents, and adults."
*All definitions from hrc.org
These are very different things. Yes, they are associated with each other, but they are not the same.
Being born as a female, identifying as male, does not immediately make you straight. You may not have been attracted to women in the first place.
You may have been attracted to men and women, and that's okay. You may be attracted to only men, that's okay.
If you aren't attracted to anyone, that's okay too.
Look, what I'm getting at is that who you are attracted to has nothing to do with your gender identity.
I, myself struggled with this when I first started my transition. I now am starting to see who I've always been in the mirror, but who do I see when I think about who I am attracted to?
Coming to terms with the fact that you are exploring your sexuality can be a scary thing, but now that you are comfortable in your skin, you will feel more confident pursuing whom you find yourself being attracted to.
I am a queer transgender male. This means that I am attracted to multiple genders, not just biological women. I didn't immediately know this, I had to discover it. I had to take the time to search within myself. Was I afraid of what others would think? Of course. Did it matter in the end? Nope.
This is my journey through my life, just as your transition is a journey through your life. This is your time for self-discovery and your time to finally become who you've always been.
This life that we have been given is such a beautiful thing. It's never too late to be yourself. Do what you need to do to embrace that.
Please reach out to me if you need anything. If you want to talk, if you have questions, anything. I am here for you.
YOU CAN CALL ME DANISH
Writing about my life and experiences as a white, transgender, queer male.